You Had Your Jungle, Now I Have Mine

by Juanita Garcia
Wife of David Garcia who served with
D company 1/11 ACR 1967-68.

When you were still in college,
You were asked to serve our country.
You did so without question when our government called upon you.
With blind innocent trust you put your personal life on hold
in order to put your country’s freedom first, while the rest of us waited at home.
Each of the servicemen and women showed more courage than I’d ever be able to measure.
You suffered in so many ways while you were there. For some of you, life ended in combat.
The rest of you live with it daily. Living with you makes me live it daily.
You had your jungle, now I have mine.

Upon your return, not everyone was as glad as I was to see you.
Some people were blind to your pain and suffering.
Instead of a hero’s welcome, some people shunned you while other sat in judgement.
Some claimed the war you fought was all in vain. Others only sought personal gain;
yet there are still some of us who continue to deal with your personal pain…
Those of us who really care, and who are here for you; those of us who haven’t given up on you;
those of us who are counting on your to leave your jungle behind.
You had your jungle, now I have mine.
 

I don’t believe we can ever thank you enough for what you’ve done.
I want to thank you now, on behalf of all of us who waited at home.
You have shown such bravery and courage, not only in combat, but looking each one of those ingrates
in the eye when they ridiculed you.
The government promised your jobs upon your return; I don’t see it happening.
So many veterans are homeless.
 At least now your behavior has a label and you don’t seem so out of place…
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was our legacy to you.
I wanted you to know just how proud I am of you THEN and NOW.
Somewhere we failed you veterans, because we took you for granted. For this I apologize.
You had your jungle, now I have mine.

When I married you it was after the war, after failed marriages, after so many mistakes.
The one thing I’ve done right in life was to choose you as my partner,
and I’m counting on you to get the help you need so we can go forward with our lives.
I pray each day for peace in our lives. You’re forcing me to live in your jungle.
Let go, Babe; let God help. Put your jungle behind you so I can live at ease, too.
You had your jungle, now I have mine.
 

I’ve seen so many changes in you in the past few months.
I know you’re really trying. I’m so glad I didn’t go through with the divorce when you hit rock bottom and
Went to jail. It was so scary to realize that I had the power in my hands to either make or break us.
Yet, who am I to judge. If I did, I’d be no different than those people who shunned you years ago.
You had your jungle, now I have mine.
 

It’s like you woke up after a long sleep. Now that you’re not drinking, you’re really participating in our
Life. I know you may take medication for the remainder of your life, but I can deal with that.
Now I don’t feel like I’m competing with booze or your relatives for your attention.
I know my place in your heart. I don’t feel like I’m going through life all by myself.
I know you care. I know you love me,
But I need you to show it, unconditionally and spontaneously like I do with you.
All I ask is that you don’t shut me out.
Talk to me, Sweetheart, because I can’t read your mind.
When you tell me what’s bothering you I’ll try to understand and support you.
It’s when you don’t share your thoughts with me that I start to blame myself for your moodiness or anger.
Your rage really scares me. Please make it stop before it gets physical. I don’t deserve that!
I’ll be there to stop your nightmares, I’ll be there to live your dreams.
Some days I think veterans’ wives deserve a combat medal.
You had your jungle, now I have mine.